Embarrassment

When I deliver my message or sermon or Dharma talk, I don't write what I'm going to say.  But because of this fact, I have experienced I couldn't find the words while talking.   Sometimes  I said something unnecessary and  wasted words.  sometimes I forgot to say something important.  Sometimes I regretted for what I said.  Above all, I have experienced embarrassments many times.  

I believe many people don't want embarrassment.  However, there is at least one good thing about embarrassment.

For me, that is a motivation of writing.  I do want to write whenever I felt like sinking into the floor.

Mistakes or failures have given me opportunities to realize what I wanted to say and what I missed to say.   And it was because I felt embarrassed, I can definitely  wish I don't want to feel embarrassment next time.

Yesterday at our New Year's Party,  I should not have been MC without writing even a program.  I felt lots of embarrassments last night.  

But now I have something I want to write....thanks to the embarrassments.